We Need to Talk

A friend from group shared a great quote on Facebook one day. It went something like "A mother's instinct is to protect her child. When that child dies, it becomes a mother's instinct to protect his/her memory." And that is why we need to talk. Bereaved parents need to acknowledge that this child/children was here and made an impact on our lives. We need to bring them up like they're part of the family because they are! Even if that makes people feel a little uncomfortable. Sometimes we may be sad. Sometimes we may cry. But we need to talk.

Talking about our angel children has been one of the most healing things for me. We are so lucky to have good friends and family that want to talk about Tyler & Ethan, not to mention our awesome support group and all the friends we've made there. I continue to be amazed at the ourpouring of support we receive. Thank you to everyone who has lent me an ear in the last 6 months. You have no idea what it means to me.

Now all that being said, I have to admit something and apologize to my boys. Even though I like to talk about them, I still find it hard to address their brief lives with people I don't know very well. Last week I was asked by two separate people that I do not know well if I had had a baby recently. I was totally caught off-guard. I said the first thing that came to mind and it was "No." They even pressed a little with a question like "Really? I thought you were expecting?" Again, my answer was no. I am incredibly ashamed that I denied my children like that. I've been self-analyzing for a week now, and I think I was just too scared of how these people would react, since I don't know them well. I know how my friends/family/acquaintences will act, so I've learned to filter myself and only discuss these sensitive matters with those I know will listen (don't worry - that's a topic for another day). But almost-strangers?! What if I freak them out? What if they ask me for more details than I'm ready to talk about in public? I just panicked. It was wrong, and I am so sorry for it. I'm working on coming up with a one-line, closed-ended statement for these kinds of situations so that I can acknowledge Tyler & Ethan without having to tell a stranger my life story. Also working on not worrying about freaking people out...that's what this whole month is about after all - making pregnancy & infant loss a topic for discussion in society. If you have a suggestion for a one-liner, leave me a comment. Would love to hear your thoughts!
Thanks for reading!