Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Coming Full Circle

I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged! Obviously I've been busy enjoying our rainbow baby Lexie and it's been crazy trying to adjust to being back at work. Today is literally the first time in almost five months I've had a free moment!
I've been thinking about this blog post for quite a while. Over the last five months, several things have happened that have to be more than coincidence; mainly in that people we met at the time of Tyler & Ethan's loss have made their way back into our lives to welcome their baby sister. It all started the day she was born...
I called into the triage desk to let them know we were on our way, and who answers the phone? None other than Sara, our labor & delivery nurse from the day Tyler & Ethan were born. She was on duty, ready to check me in and prep me for my C-section. It was so great to have a familiar face (and awesome nurse) at such a nerve-racking time. I really felt like the boys arranged the timing on that one!
Unfortunately I couldn't take Sara with me to the OR, but I had two fabulous nurses there as well - Jean and Allison. The surgery went great, but I knew there was something off...the nurses didn't bring Lexie over to us, and it took forever before they even let Brad go across the room to her. Turns out she had some breathing difficulties and needed to go to the NICU. Most people would expect me to totally freak out...but I didn't. For some reason, I felt really calm about it. I was confident that she was going to be just fine. It helped that the docs reassured us too of course (and maybe I was drugged up a bit too...). But now comes the next appearance of an old friend...another nurse who was near and dear to us while we were in the hospital with the boys was Ange. She was with me when we were informed that there was no stopping their delivery and that we would have to make some hard decisions. Ange transferred to the NICU after helping our family two years ago, and low and behold, she was able to take care of Lexie the day she was born. If I wasn't seeing the signs before, I was definitely getting it now. Tyler & Ethan were sending us a message that they were with us and watching over their little sister.
Now this last one really blows my mind. While I was on maternity leave, I volunteered at Addison's Vacation Bible School up at the Lutheran Church. I got talking to their intern, Vicar Don, a few times and always felt like I knew him from somewhere but couldn't place it. On the last day of bible school, they had a program and potluck at the church, and Vicar Don asked if he could talk to me afterwards. When we spoke, he said that he had been praying for us for two years...he was the hospital chaplain that was with us when Tyler & Ethan were born. I was almost too stunned for words. This is a person who really blew me away that day. Don blessed Tyler and then held and talked to him while Ethan was born. Had he not been there, Tyler probably would have laid alone in an isolette during that time. He then baptized Ethan before he passed away. I felt like he loved my boys like family that day. I couldn't find the words to tell him how much that meant to me, but I hope to track him down via email if our paths don't cross again soon.
What are the chances?! When I sit down to think about this, I know now that it is all part of a message. I think Tyler & Ethan brought these people back into our lives to let us know that everything comes full circle; nothing is ever all said and done. And even though we met these people in a time of tragedy, we were all brought back together for a time of joy and celebration with Lexie's birth. It wasn't just about us - I'm sure it was healing for our friends to be part of this joyous occasion too!
I understand now more than ever that there is no "good-bye"...only "until we meet again", whether that is here or in Heaven. Thanks Boys.